A mess without you

I’m trying so hard not to be a mess without you.
I’m crying so hard because i feel so much less without you
I don’t want you but I need you
It’s selfish but what can I do
I want you close enough to know I’m not alone
But far enough to feel I am good on my own
I don’t mean to play with your heart
Trust me, It’s tearing me apart
But what I want and what I need have conspired to make me this person
I’m trying so hard to accept that you’re gone so I can learn this lesson
But I’m used to you, I know what you’d do. Anyone else I’d just have to keep guessing
I don’t love you, I’m just lonely
That’s why i don’t want to belong to you but i want you to be mine only
It’s selfish but what can I do
Except do right by you and speak true

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