Vanity Card # 14: 2013 Lessons


Last year was pretty eventful for me and in all aspects of my life. One thing I’ve come to realize is; experiences do make you more knowledgeable. Being wise will come from applying what you’ve learned from them.

My New Year resolution is to apply to my life the things life thought me in the most chaotic twelve months of my life. I’ve decided to share them with you. Someone somewhere might see something that will change their life.

When afraid of failure or rejection, try at least once.

I found out later in the year that there were a number of opportunities I had missed out on because I didn’t try. My reason for not trying were always fear of failure or rejection. That sounds like a simple issue but it’s not. Some people live the best parts of their lives after they find out they are about to die because at that point there is no care for failure or rejection. We don’t start a lot of things because we don’t see a clear sign of succeeding. I only went for things I was sure would succeed and the funny part of that is, not all of those ones ended well. But some of the ones we’re not too sure of may turn out to be exactly what we need.

Don’t be afraid to look stupid but don’t deliberately do stupid things. 

Besides failing or being rejected, the fear of looking stupid is another reason why we don’t try things. We usually overestimate how much embarrassment comes from failing. It’s never as bad as we make it up in our heads. Don’t decide not to do what you really want because you feel it will come off as stupid to others. The only reason to not do it is if it’s a stupid act in itself. There is a thin line but a clear distinction there.

Appreciate those who appreciate you.

We live in a world where people’s focus usually fall on trying to impress people they admire. There is nothing wrong with that, unless you ignore those who appreciate you in the process. The same way we admire and look up to people, there are those who look up to us. Think about how you’d want the person you admire to act towards you and do that for those who look to you. While you wait for yours to happen, you can make someone’s happen now. You can make a difference that way.

A compliment from one person you admire is worth more than ten from those who admire you but learn to appreciate the little things. Learn to find joy in the praise of those you may not want it from because let’s face it, the person you are looking up to might never notice you.

Find those who like you and make a difference in their life. Find those who criticize you constructively and take notes. Keep those who constantly praise you for when you are down. Everyone’s role is relevant in your life. Never feel too important for anyone.

Deciding to make a difference where you are not wanted will break your spirit. Dominate where you can and spread your reach.

There is never one path to anything

You don’t have to agree with everything but you don’t have to argue with everything you don’t agree with. Just because something doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean it is wrong. There isn’t a single path to success, true love or happiness. It is about finding what works for you and working it well.

One person is successful because he is an ass. Another because he is nice. Maybe yours will be because of indifference. Find your path and own it.

Relationships matter too much to be totally selfless

There is a limit to what every person can put up with from another person. Don’t make all the sacrifices just because you love someone. The novelty of love contributes to the greatness of a relationship.

How you feel about a person changes as the love gets old. It goes from burning passion to embers of hard work and dedication. If you stretch yourself thin in courtship or at the beginning of the relationship, there will not be much left in you to put in the hard work when the excitement wears off.

Don’t give up too much of yourself for another without good reason. Ask yourself what you can let go and what is too much to put up with. Start the habit of compromise early in the relationship so no one feels like they are the only giver.


If nothing at all, be honest with yourself ALL THE TIME.

When you feel the need to give a comeback or any form of impulsive reaction, try 30 seconds of ‘letting it go’ at least. If it doesn’t work, give it the reaction your best shot

Finally, most importantly;

Do the best you can until you know better, and then do better. Better is always possible.


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